Wednesday, May 17, 2006

...hello all

While indulging in my daily dose of net goodies, usually about Bey-Z and Rhianna's latest page 6 exposé, I came across a blog that for one reason or another, made me think but ...let's just say, ruffled my feathers. Compelled to respond to the post about homosexuality and the young, experimenting, immaturity, phases, and girls who want to be men ...I decided to toot my own horn a little harder past responding anonymously and create a blog of my own.

Granted, to each her own opinion, and indeed I have my own and could give a shyt less what others think about it ...I think it's that very attitude that fosters a lot of misconceptions in general, but in this case, misconceptions about homosexuality in the black community.

I read a post about young girls experimenting with other girls public among other things, and how homosexuality has become a trend, which indeed it has; however, what got me was the inherent denial of sexuality and sexual expression based on age. I won't link or post to the blog for obvious reasons but, here was my response:

In response to the actual post as well as the previous comments...While I agree with/understand your point with relation to children, especially girls, experimenting with the same sex, and engaging in PDA's etc., I think its important to stress the fact that while it is inappropriate (for it to occur at a young age and in public), to question the intention or deny the sexual expression is to deny the individual and in my opinion wrong. I say that to say that yes, homosexuality is already a trend but to generalize and make a blanket statement that could be interpreted as "you're young so you don't know what you want", is wrong; some do it for the wrong reason but again, that's just some.
As a Black Lesbian in my early 20's, I would never have dreamed of engaging in those acts on a subway, or anywhere else for that matter, at that age and at present, but sadly enough children are only moving along with the fast pace of life and doing what they are force fed by the media daily, and what permissive or non existent parents allow. I say that in no way shape or form to make an excuse for, place blame elsewhere or justify that behavior.
At that age, as a matter of fact much earlier, I was more than cognizant of my attraction to women, and I sympathize with younger SGL's and LGBTQ's who have to endure being scrutinized or be told they don't know what they feel because of their age. I feel as though regardless of your age you know what you like, whether it's a phase or not; didn't you? Didn't you, as a teen, know whether or not you liked X, Y or Z from up the corner and around the block, irrespective of gender? It really has nothing at all to do with the supposed lack of "emotionally available men".
As far as girls looking like men, gender and sexual expression are extremely personal and by that I mean vary. To mock someone because of their gender expression, i.e. dress, walk, talk, how they like to be addressed, etc., is beyond ignorant. What's to say that these young girls aren't Lesbian identified Butch or are on the road to self discovery and will ultimately end up as an FTM? What's to say that it isn't a phase and they won't end up someone new the next day, month or year? Whatever it is, to deny sexuality based on age is to deny the individual and people should be more concerned with teaching young girls, and boys, to protect themselves, sexually, emotionally and physically, in lieu of trying to force them to be something deemed acceptable by societal standards. Girls, and boys, are owning themselves earlier and earlier and should be allowed to express themselves, sexual acts aside, in a way most comfortable to them and them alone.
Again, I in no way shape or form condone PDA's, random sexual acts, sex at a young age, etc., but in reality, what can we do to prevent kids from doing what they want to do? Don't you remember how determined you were as a teen? Beat them and you could potentially suffer legal consequence, buy clothes for them and they will beg, borrow, or steal someone else's. At this point, education is our best bet; educate the young in hopes that they will carry the knowledge with them and make an informed decision about what it is they want to do with their lives. We can guide them through life but we can't live for them.

Needless to say, that I was a little annoyed with the comments made about "girls that look like boys".

After all was said and done with that, I went on to read a few of the comments posted before mine, in detail, and noticed that one in particular was an attempt at drawing a comparison between homosexuality and molestation ...after that I was pretty much through, response as follows:

Maybe it's just the way I'm reading it, and please, please, please correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm getting the impression that you're making a comparison/correlation between homosexuality and molestation.
As far as turning someone out, that really isn't possible; either its rape or molestation at the time and whether or not you engage in sexual acts or enter into a relationship with someone of the same sex at a later date is a choice made only by the individual. To "lay blame" for sex or relationships that occur at present on disgusting acts forcibly committed in the past is wrong and that denies the persons sexual/gender expression. Granted there are exceptions to "the rule", but as a Black Lesbian, if someone were to tell me that I was gay because I was molested, they might as well tell me I'm Black because I was in the sun too long.
...Insert here - the debate on being born gay/gay as a learned behavior.
In short, no one is gay because they were abused. You're either gay because you are, your scarred emotionally, which as someone that was abused you have every right to be, and you turn to the same sex or you buy into the "I'm gay because I was abused" and you're looking for a way to excuse the fact that you are gay but have not yet come to terms with your tendencies or sexual preference and are looking for a way to respond to the negativity from family members or friend ...which is B.S. in itself.
Again, JMO.

Why is it that someone always has to come up with a way to account for/excuse etc., homosexuality I need a damn pass to be gay!