Meet Garvey.

...like Marcus Garvey as that is his namesake. Big, strong, broad, powerful, serious, formidable.
All things obvious in the way that Garvey carries himself.

He growls, grunts, barks, huffs, runs, twitches and grinds his teeth ...all in his sleep while in the real world, he proffers as much protection as a wilting house plant; he's nothing more than decoration.

Soft, cuddly, timid, EXPENSIVE, passive, spoiled rotten, whiny and overly friendly ...the only way he'd harm you would be to crush you under his massive weight. See, Garvey has it in his head that he's a lap dog and if left undeterred, he will climb up in your lap for a nap. I've often let him do it and have pretty much created the monster that is Garvey, The Inept Watch Dog.

I'd like to think that he'll rise to the occasion if the need ever presented itself, but I'm not so sure.



I'll be the first to admit, Garvey does not live a life conducive to that of a large breed dog. A 3 year old, 80 lb., Lab Mix should have access to a huge backyard, take long walks daily and visit the park regularly. Garvey gets / does none of that. More often than not, his days are spent tucked off into a corner asleep and when he is active, he's amazingly clingy, attention starved and annoyingly hyperactive. You WILL play fetch, by choice or default and in one way or another, there WILL be physical contact.

He's taken to depositing his slobbery tennis ball in your lap so even if you don't want to play, you end up tossing it away and there is his cue to repeat the process OR he'll rub up against your legs as if he were a cat so that you'll touch him ...even if it is to shoo him away, never mind the fact that he is a shedding animal *ugh - he didn't always do that, it started about 6 months after I got him and by then I was attached* whose feet smell like a fresh bag of Frito's as soon as it's around about that time for him to visit the groomer.
Fortunately, he doesn't have dog breath.

Garvey is stupendous.

I adore him. We have our very own ritual greeting when I get home from work. It consists of him charging at me, full speed, like a ball out of a cannon, hugs, rubs, pats, various pet names and a walk directly across the street for him to pee. *yes, his walks should be longer but I don't have time. I walk him until he does his business, I clean up and we head home - at least 3 times a day* Afterward, he's usually ready to eat his too large dinner *on our last two visits, his vet informed me that Garvey could stand to "slim down a bit" - I like to eat, my family likes to eat ...WE EAT. No one in my company will EVER go hungry, Garvey included*.

My one complaint with Garvey is he has too human tendencies. He doesn't bark AT ALL, EVER but when he does ummmm, communicate, for lack of a better word, it's almost as if he's mimicking human speech. Scary to say the least.

Oh, and he sleeps like people do ....on pillows, with blankets, etc. Long story short, Garvey has taken over in a lot of respects, totally flipped my household upside down. I mean I can't even go out after work unless I want to come home to a brown surprise - and that ain't happening.

Did I say one complaint?
I lied.

I'm sure I can come up with several others but the one that takes the cake is as follows:

Garvey has ....shall we say, a sensitive stomach. Any little thing can set him off and he won't eat / drink for a while and back when we first got him, it raised a lot of concern and made for several trips to the vet *thank the creator for Banfield and their doggie health care plans*. This long story short, Garvey vomits ...often. As a matter of fact he did twice yesterday and once today ...but it is fairly early so that isn't saying much.

He's like a grown man after a night of heavy drinking and a few White Castle burgers too many.
...and I don't appreciate having to keep a plastic bag handy to stick his head in just in case he starts heaving, which he does for about 3 minutes before he actually erupts *blah*. I don't even get that kind of personal treatment and I shouldn't have to do that for a dog.
It's gross.

I love him though.
We're complicated *sigh*.